Poor Excuse for Prose

I’m remaking myself. I sift the flour and cream sugar into butter and learn a new stitch and become a new person. I stand in my small kitchen and listen to my neighbours stomp past. I draw imaginary Venn diagrams concerning elements that don’t match and pretend I want to finish my degree.

It doesn’t work. I’m still me.

So I put the spoon down. I remove the tray from the oven and stack the dirty utensils in the sink with every intention of not doing them. I buy a new ball of wool and learn a new stitch but never advance to anything more complicated than a blanket.

I’m still me when I eventually give up and start a new project.

River Song

Spoilers Sweetie.

Setting aside Doctor Who is written for children, I was not pleased with the episode 'Let's Kill Hitler'. This is the first full episode since 'A Good Man Goes To War' where the battle of Demon's Run is fought, Melody Pond is lost and River Song's identity is revealed. Since then we've had a rather ominous prequel of 'Let's Kill Hitler' which shows presumably the Doctor's skeletal hand clasping the sonic screwdriver. We were then treated to another prequel which shows the Doctor brooding broodingly in a dark corner of the T.A.R.D.I.S. whilst Amy beseeches him to find her daughter. Whilst the first half of this year's season had its faults (like every season of every TV show created) I truly loved how tantalizingly slow River's back story was developed. Her character came seeping through in some of the Doctor's more traumatising moments and I lovingly return to those episodes to glean every little morsel of information I can from her few truly revealing lines. I really love River Song.

To top it off, she's a magnificent writing tool. Think Hermione Granger. A character with one foot in the fictional world (wizarding/time travelling the greater universe) and one in yours (muggle/non time traveller/new to genre) to explain the more technical points in an easy to understand language that would have the more sophisticated characters rolling their eyes and dumping you on the nearest planet. These characters are the bread and butter of sci/fi fantasy books but they aren't used in TV shows normally, because of the voyeuristic nature OF a TV show. However River is necessary in Doctor Who because of the history of the Whoniverse and the references to the previous Doctors and their adventures. There is nearly 50 years worth of universe and language in the series and if she wasn't there the Doctor would constantly be explaining his and everyone else's reactions and from a writing perspective this would get really boring. I really love River Song.

I really love her, I think she's wonderful and her mysterious relationship with the Doctor adds an edge to the series that adults (not me, never me) can enjoy that isn't just a terrifying monster and an almost constant element of death. So, to take all those cleverly and painstakingly crafted story-lines, and Alex Kingston's superb acting (her face once she realised she would never kiss the Doctor again, MY OVARIES WEPT IT WAS THAT EMOTIONAL) and throw it all away in one episode KILLS ME.

In 'Let's Kill Hitler' we're introduced to one of River's previous regenerations who is a wonderfully unhinged manic mess and through a series of one-up-man-ships attempts to kill the Doctor. Then she regenerates into Alex Kingston's body (WOAH, whut?). Alex Kingston's spoilt-homicidal-brat is pretty hilarious, and her focus on her new body is brilliant- "I'm going to wear a LOT of JODHPERS!" - is a personal favourite. The Doctor starts dying (hey, for once its not Rory, that's pretty cool) and Rory goes on a Nazi punching rage. Oh yeah, and there is a Justice Department Vehicle that hunts down war criminals. River happens to be the biggest since she's killed the Doctor (WOAH, whut?) and in the shape of Amy Pond it cleverly reveals that River (or at this stage I guess she's still technically Melody Pond) was trained by the Silence (WOAH, whut?) to kill him. Amy and Rory save Melody from the Justice Department Vehicle and in turn Melody saves Amy and Rory from... The Justice Department Vehicle. In the T.A.R.D.I.S. That she was magically shown how to fly. All this (and the repeated use of the name River) affords Melody a dramatic change of heart and she gives her remaining regenerations (WOAH, whu... Oh okay, that had to be explained at some point) to the Doctor. Everyone survives *yey* and we're given a shot of River applying for university on another planet. And no, she's not an English major. *sigh*

Ugh, so many revelations in one episode is downright RUDE. Problem 1: We're told in 'The Impossible Astronaut' that one day the Doctor came to her when she was a young girl and he knew everything about her (and it was implied that he loved her all the same, what with the dates we're given glimpses of). THIS CANNOT BE THIS MOMENT. Please. The Doctor even says in 'Let's Kill Hitler' that this is her beginning. Ugh.

Problem 2: Amy and Rory are a young family THAT ARE MISSING THEIR DAUGHTER. Considering how horrible this would be to *imagine* for standard, non time travelling mothers I don't understand how this is completely glossed over. Yes, the Doctor is held at gun point and made to go to Nazi Germany but to be honest, that shouldn't have happened. THEIR DAUGHTER HAS BEEN STOLEN and the Doctor comes back with NO NEWS? Why would the Moff let that happen?

Problem 3: How come poison from the Judas Tree can cancel the Doctor's regenerations? Not that I want to lose Matt Smith now, it's just, why?

Island In The Sun

Do the 8-bit (or surely it was 16 or 32 by then) beeps of the Super Nintendo era games make your rivers flow in your pleasure centres? Does Weezer have just enough pop referenced grunge to make the blood in your veins turn angsty? Then the Pterodactyl Squad and the following link: http://www.ptesquad.com/more/pte018.html are for you. Seriously, these cool dudes have remixed some of Weezer's top stuff (except for Beverly Hills, where was Beverly Hills??) into game beeps that will have your childhood jizzing it's irreverently patterned overalls. My favourite is Island In The Sun. The Castlevania-esque fake out lifts my heart everytime.

Hilariously enough, I have never been, nor will be, that into games. I play the cutesy ones I used to when I was kid, like MarioKart, Yoshi's Island and Harvest Moon, but I haven't finished a single save since before I had boobs, so, issue. The most I know about games is stuff my exes used to play. Thats not to say I don't like games, I do, I actually used to enjoy watching them play and tune in for the storyline bits. Hell, even now I look up the storylines. Lame. Its still nostalgia though. Its only an issue because I like my gentlemen gently nerdy. One day I hope to find a nerd gently into music as well.

Maybe I should attempt finishing one of my saves one day. I'm half way through my childhood anyway.

Today Is Not That Day

I notoriously suck at these things. I've got blogs littering the internet like space dust on the Galactica. However, I have set the standard low on this one. I have not set myself a theme or a deadline (insert clever Douglas Adams quote here) and I'm not ashamed to post a picture or two of my cat in the future.

Also, I hate Tumblr. What's the point of a blog if all you are posting are everyone else's thoughts? Its like Facebook late at night, when you are too tired to make a comment, so you just end up liking a million posts, but of course no one is there to know what you are thinking when you like these things and your like is very easily misconstrued.

There have been dramas. So now there is a blog.