I always mean to do things on trains. It's a 20 minute ride to and from work, each day. That's a lot of time to catch up on essays. Maybe read the news. I could send all those texts I keep meaning to send, the ones where I tell a friend what I thought upon first viewing their favourite movie. The ones where something funny happened and it made me think of them. The texts saying 'thank you' for walking me through that bad feeling I had the other week. The ones letting them know that even though we haven't talked in ages, I still think of them.
But I don't. I sit down. I hit 'shuffle'. A song comes on and for some reason I *have* to pay attention to it. I have to give it the full dedication it deserves. I have to reprocess each memory and emotion I'd formed for the music, the lyrics. Sometimes I smile, embarrassed at the immature thought processes I once had. At the fantasies I once conjured to get through something: a break up, a fight, boredom, a long run that just wouldn't end. At the memories, silly, sad and loving. I remember driving up the mountain with my best friend. That party where I made a splash and met that guy. That morning with a friend watching Doctor Who. All the same song. So many memories.
So please know, if life gets in the way. If we move to different places. If you pass. If we fall out. If we fall in or out of love. There is always a song that will remind me of you, that I will give my full attention to.
Happy New Year.
