Oh, Again I Wait...

For this to fill the holes.

It's funny how songs jog your memory. I'm on the tram that takes me close to home, and All of This by Blink 182 featuring vocals by Robert Smith comes on.

I remember:

When the album came out, my second boyfriend (and the long term one) played it all the time. He loved Blink and this was the only album of theirs I thought was truly spectacular. Added bonus Robert Smith. There was bonding.

This was on my shuffle in my car probably weeks or days before another ex and I got together. The tension between us was palpable and every word counted and he expressed his love for the song as well.

Another guy (relationship undefined) had invited me to a party, but by the time I'd finished work and gotten there it was winding down. He and all his friends were younger than me, but eventually the conversation turned to music as this song came on. His mate was an avid Cure fan but had failed to recognise Smith's voice and was shocked when I told him.

Currently: I'm sitting on a tram, texting another ex, speaking to an old childhood friend and offering support, after having spent the evening volunteering for a festival and making connections, getting drunk for free and Art Wanking with strangers. 

Sex and the Inappropriate Behaviour

Its that time of year again. Its cold, I'm sick, I've reached an epiphany regarding my dating life and I've started to rewatch all my box sets again. Normally I start strong with Buffy and Battlestar Galactica but this year I thought I'd start with Sex and the City (shut up, if you removed Carrie its a story about three different women who all have real problems and act like adults).

So I'm up to the episode where Carrie is dating the Politician- the one who has the golden shower fantasies. Carrie, then, throughout the entire episode makes fun of him (which we all do, however with more love and disbelief at this situation we've gotten ourselves into, again) and avoids drinking liquids in his presence for comedic effect. At the end of the episode she suggests some alternatives, he gets defensive and makes her feel inadequate about her article and they break up. Then she writes specifically about the issue in her article.

Anyone else hear alarm bells? How is it so hard, at that original conversation, to say that she's just not into golden showers and to discuss alternatives that they can compromise on? Why did she come to him with alternatives without discussing what he actually needed from the sensation first? I have had a similar, although less shower related, request made of me, and although we broke up before I ever became fully comfortable with it, I still asked a lot of questions and tried to figure out what I was comfortable. In true SATC style I'm going to end this in a question. Shouldn't the bedroom be a safe place for open discussion and sexy times?